[berkeley]
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meaningful entries
oh so fickle me. I've reached an impasse with the direction of my blog. I've been wanting to change my nightly updates to an infrequent and meaningful, thought provoking entry. But i like the idea of always giving people something new to read--like bern's blog. And so that's why my blog entries have been sporadic. Unfortunately, my indecisiveness has left this past month of entries dry and mostly uninteresting. And that's much worse than anything else.
i refuse to talk very much about school, because it'd be the same thing everyday-- "school is keeping me busy and stressed--i think physics is hard."
yet my struggle to keep abreast of the curriculum leaves the rest of myself uncultivated. No time to read books that can add perspective. No time to go to the daily cal and start freelancing. And then of course the natural reaction to this is that i should just make time. Somehow, stubborn me refuses to let my grades slide for the sake of a more balanced lifestyle.
yet another lapse of indecision.
Then i remember christian's blog entry regarding the finish line. Most of us live life working towards some "grand finish line" (from christian's entry). Each little milestone--the big show, a college degree, a raise, new shoes-- seems to bring us closer to a goal. But at the end of it all isn't much. When can you say you've reached your goal? As soon as i hit this tax bracket, i'm home free...as soon as i've got my own house...as soon as i'm married...But before you know it, you're 83 and you've probably lived an altogether average life. You've done most everything your next door neighbor has done. Success.
Geez how freakin' negative. Yet at the end of it all, i can't bring myself to scrap the idea of working towards the finish line--after this post, i'll be studying for my math midterm. I've convinced myself that if i can just sit through school and get a degree, i can do anything in the world. Go live in europe and be poor, but happy, bartending in italy, dating an italian model named giovanni. Gaining some amazing experience and laughing in a gondolla as the rest of the world works towards the end.
>>
meaningful entries
oh so fickle me. I've reached an impasse with the direction of my blog. I've been wanting to change my nightly updates to an infrequent and meaningful, thought provoking entry. But i like the idea of always giving people something new to read--like bern's blog. And so that's why my blog entries have been sporadic. Unfortunately, my indecisiveness has left this past month of entries dry and mostly uninteresting. And that's much worse than anything else.
i refuse to talk very much about school, because it'd be the same thing everyday-- "school is keeping me busy and stressed--i think physics is hard."
yet my struggle to keep abreast of the curriculum leaves the rest of myself uncultivated. No time to read books that can add perspective. No time to go to the daily cal and start freelancing. And then of course the natural reaction to this is that i should just make time. Somehow, stubborn me refuses to let my grades slide for the sake of a more balanced lifestyle.
yet another lapse of indecision.
Then i remember christian's blog entry regarding the finish line. Most of us live life working towards some "grand finish line" (from christian's entry). Each little milestone--the big show, a college degree, a raise, new shoes-- seems to bring us closer to a goal. But at the end of it all isn't much. When can you say you've reached your goal? As soon as i hit this tax bracket, i'm home free...as soon as i've got my own house...as soon as i'm married...But before you know it, you're 83 and you've probably lived an altogether average life. You've done most everything your next door neighbor has done. Success.
Geez how freakin' negative. Yet at the end of it all, i can't bring myself to scrap the idea of working towards the finish line--after this post, i'll be studying for my math midterm. I've convinced myself that if i can just sit through school and get a degree, i can do anything in the world. Go live in europe and be poor, but happy, bartending in italy, dating an italian model named giovanni. Gaining some amazing experience and laughing in a gondolla as the rest of the world works towards the end.
posted by joan at
3:30 AM
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