[concord]

primer
the following is a blurb of thoughts after finishing "Adaptation", a film starring Nicolas Cage and Meryl Streep. I'll be watching the movie again tomorrow.

the thought occurred
to me as I watched Spike Jonze's "Adaptation", that i should no longer put things on hold. I seem to be deeply devoted to an ideal. Solely dedicated to doing things worth doing. No more uninteresting internships. No more declaring a "good" major ("Oh wow, that's a good major"). No more forcing myself to continue the pursuit of someone else's ideal.

So this summer, upon my return from a month abroad, I refuse to waste time convincing myself that I'm doing the right thing. I'd much rather continue doing as I've done :: organize my room and hope that a new idea will introduce itself in the middle of an afternoon spent rearranging old photographs and recollections. Yet in the midst of all this waiting, all this feigned busy-ness, i'm still wasting time. Why is that?

I can't begin to understand when it is that people forget to find and pursue passion. I don't know yet if this world could or would be much better if people remembered their life's love. When said that way, it seems like such a difficult thing to forget or to avoid finding.

Nevertheless, i ask the same question Meryl Streep asks. I want so much to find something I deeply care about. Even moreso, I want so much to find the courage to pursue it.

The thing itself is not as important as the fact that I love it. Hence Meryl Streep's sudden realization that the wonderful, fantastic, but fleeting "ghost" orchid was only a flower. Like so many others.

I suppose dreams, when de-romanticized, are only dreams. It's the fact that they are mine that make them so valuable.