[berkeley]

>>in summer, we can taste the rain...and just like the movies, we play out our last scene<< alien ant farm's "movies"

huh
why the heck couldn't i wake up this morning for my spinning class? Because somehow my immune system was blasted and i was congested. I haven't been sick in a long time. Thankfully, a few hours after waking, i'm pretty much back to normal except that i still feel a little drowsy.

Haven't done much except read about Angular Momentum operators, spherical harmonics, and quantum numbers.

[berkeley]

>>A heart that's full up like a landfill
A job that slowly kills you
Bruises that won't heal<< radiohead's "no surprises"

shallow
The semester is rapidly coming to a close with finals just around the corner. I look back at october and november's blogs and think about what my groove's been. It's been altogether...shallow--fun, but shallow. What did i do anyway? Movies, Harry Potter, christmas lights, Knicks Game, U2, Meteor Shower.

Looking back at my entries from July (when i was interning), I wrote a lot more social commentary, and lately? nothing.

I suppose i could blame it on the machine that is the University of California for keeping me occupied with midterms that i haven't had time to think about all the things going on around me. Interestingly enough, however, it's been a really fun couple months. All the stuff i've been up to has been great times. I need to start doing more reflection to make sure i'm not forgetting myself and turning into someone i don't want to be.

Not sure if that makes sense, so in an attempt to rephrase: i don't want to get so self absorbed that i lose sight of my direction and all of the stuff that i thought about over the summer.

[berkeley]

>>how can you just walk away from me, when all i can do i watch you leave<< mariah carey's rendition of "against all odds"

festive decor
I managed to assemble the string of super cute paper lanterns that Pammy gave to me for my birthday. Chris and I hung them up above two of the windows in our room. Later this week we'll be putting up the clear christmas lights in our sunroom that i bought at Kmart.

I'm planning to leave the lanterns and the christmas lights up indefinitely, though, since lights are so festive. It's so welcoming to see our sunroom lit up from outside.

Too bad Kmart didn't have those large multi-colored bulbs that Pamela had when she was in Lafayette--those were so cool. That's the only time that i'll ever vote for multi-colored over classic white. Am i still talking about christmas lights?

push
I'd hit a plateau with my strength training and figured i needed to change things up because I was never ever sore. This morning, i worked out with Alex. I'm looking forward to feeling sore tomorrow because I was able to work to complete fatigue. Whenever i workout alone, i can't put in those last 2 or 3 reps because there's no one there to spot me. Crossing fingers, hope i'm sore tomorrow. I love that feeling! I feel so accomplished when i have trouble doing things like putting my jacket on or opening a door.

[berkeley]

>>and it's gonna be exactly like in a movie, when we fall in love for the first time<< Britney Spears' "bombastic love"

a muggle i am
I saw Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone on Thanksgiving evening with my family. What a great movie! I read a few reviews saying that the movie was long and mediocre at most. Again, the critics are totally wrong. The movie was great and it followed the plot of JK Rowling's first book really closely. And i liked the fact that the movie was long. The only thing that it lacked was more magic scenes--those were soo cool.

[apartment 6]

yay knicks
sorry dad. I never understood why he cheered for a team as terrible as the Warriors. I guess it's because they're our home team.

I'd never been to a pro basketball game before, and I'd have to say i had a great time. The only thing that could have made it better was a free chalupa, but the Warriors didn't score 100 points. Stupid warriors.

[apartment 6]

>>i'm just sippin on chamomile, watchin boys and girls and their sex appeal<< no doubt's "Hey Baby"

rock star weekend overflow
After a most excellent weekend (a rock star weekend as bern would call it), the fun has yet to end. Ed and co. are taking me to the Warriors vs. Knicks game tonight. I've never been to a pro basketball game. I don't think my parents know i'm going to be there. My dad's been a Warrior fan ever since I can remember. It'd be funny if he saw me on tv, haha.

No, this doesn't mean that i don't have homework. I've got a fair share of that to do, but there's that beautiful thing i call balance that i absolutely must have.

so then he says
I was telling a friend about my plans of travelling (yes, i said plans, not dreams). He agreed that travelling would bring great opportunities for amazing experiences, but he also offered an interesting observation. "You want to see Italy and Africa, but you haven't even been to Carmel or Mendocino. How much of San Francisco have you visited?"

Wow, good point. I hadn't even been to the Arena in Oakland until the U2 concert last Friday. I guess that's why i've been putting my work aside for more fun.

t-day
Thanksgiving is coming up, and i'll be chillin' with Pamela on Friday. I wonder when i'll be doing my Quantum?

[apartment 4]

wait a minute
oh yeah, why all the fun this weekend? midterms are over, baby.

woohoo
niners won. even better weekend. Likha will be taking me to House of Nanking tonight to celebrate my 20th bday which was on tuesday.

[apartment *yawn* 6]

leonids
Alex D. and I went up into the Berkeley hills with a number of other students to watch the Leonid meteor shower. I have never seen such a beautiful sky. So that's what inner peace is like.

so tired now, though. goodnight moon.

[apartment 6]

>>hey you with the dreams in your head, you've been so mislead by your heart<< no doubt's "hey you"

U2
oh yeah, i forgot to write about my wonderful experience at the Oakland Arena last night. Thanks to alex's encouragement (his blog is linked on the right), I spent $55 on my selfish unvolunteering self to watch one of the greatest rock bands of all time. I figured that even though i'd be out $55, the experience was well worth it since U2 is so popular and they've been around for so long. They were soo excellent. I didn't know all of the songs, but they're extremely talented and I'm glad i went and saw them.

no doubt
Gwen Stefani and co. opened for U2 and they were amazing. Watching Gwen made me want to be a rock star. I have so much respect for her because there are not very many popular female-lead bands. Okay Britney, Christina, etc. don't count because they're not really artists. But Gwen, wow. She can sing live and she totally commanded the audience. All my props to her.

[apartment 6]

>>i want to fill my glass up with you constantly<< no doubt's "end it on this"

fastweb.com
I signed up for a scholarship site called fastweb.com 3 years ago when i was a Senior in high school.

How fastweb works: Fill out a profile which includes information about your ethnicity, hobbies, intended major, etc. Fastweb then creates a collection of scholarships for which I might be qualified.

In any case, i was reading through the scholarship list that fastweb had created for me. All of them (of course) required that i write about my community contributions. After going through the list of 20 or so available scholarships, i realized that i didn't have a fighting chance of winning money for being myself.

I could start hauling ass and volunteering at soup kitchens, but, quite frankly, i'm a selfish s.o.b. I imagine the kids with whom i'm competing probably do volunteer work on a regular basis and have tons of experiences to write about. Whereas my very un-mother theresa-like self, however, prefer to spend my free time going out with friends, watching movies, doing photography, playing the piano, or skateboarding. I'm a self-indulgent bastard. But i have tons of fun doing it. How do i compete with the selfless kids? I can't.

Don't get me wrong, however. I'll volunteer when the opportunity arises. I spent a few hours at Glide Memorial with my coworkers during my summer internship serving lunch to the homeless, and i enjoyed it. I do not, however, volunteer on a weekly basis as i would imagine "the competition" does.

*Sigh* Here's my cheap shot: Anybody who volunteers for the sole purpose of winning money for their deeds isn't really selfless. I'm being a sore loser because i feel like shit for being unqualified for a bunch o' money.

[apartment 6]

>>you would ruin my whole world. Tell me you'll stay, never ever go away<< New Kids on the Block's "please don't go girl"

ring ring
I got on the bus and found somebody's new nokia on the seat. I played with it a little and tried texting Gary, gave up and decided to call bern diesel. It was random, but i thought it was kind of exciting. *sorry bern for interrupting you at work.

piano me
I stopped by the music store to try out some digital keyboards and wasn't very happy with what i heard. Modern technology has yet to make electric pianos that sound like real pianos. Oh well.

[apartment 6]

two decades
happy birthday to me. will be celebrating after the quantum midterm tomorrow morning. :o)

[apartment 6]

>>everytime i breathe and take you in, and my heart beats again<< backstreet boys' "drowning"

22
Happy birthday Yvette!

huh?
brain's frying. Lots and lots of problem sets to do and a quantum midterm. Bring it on baby.

Today was great though! Lisa, a most excellent step instructor, is back from her 3 week sabbatical in Italy. She's the greatest--so funny. "now do the turn step, it's so easy it's sad. Get your damn foot up. You love it!"

[apartment 6]

>>think that i might have doubts, but i don't<< britney spears' "let me be"

friday!
yay. I had a midterm today, but i'm still riding high. I started my 3 day weekend at 2pm today and it seems like this Friday's been never ending. Every time i checked the clock, the display read earlier than i expected. How wonderful that is.

shopping with roommate
Safeway was such a fun time with Kathy! We bought oatmeal raisin cookie ingredients and even found pomegranates there.

The bus ride to and from was fun. Going home was especially interesting because of a special passenger who boarded a stop or two before Kathy and I got off. The guy seemed one of those homeless types-- He wore battered fatigues and had a beard to boot--soo masculine. I kept talking to Kathy about one of Kuya Rudi's stellar comments during one of my rehearsals--He walked up the first step into the bus, i saw his legs. Which puzzled me because i expected pants. He made things even more interesting when i saw his nylons shimmering in the glow of the bus' lights. But i chattered on and stopped abruptly..."he's wearing heels." ::
Once he'd stepped completely in, i noticed his black high heels--which were a half size too large for his feet ::
He then proceeded to click-clack to the row across from me, and primmily seated himself with perfect posture.

[apartment 6]

>>think that i might back down but i won't<< britney's "let me be"

testing
While surfing random blogs, i realized that a lot of these blogs seemed altogether uninteresting. This observation most probably excludes the author of the blog in question as well as anyone who knows the author personally.

I'd like my blog to be intriguing even though people don't know me.

It all goes back to not knowing what i want my blog to be.
I can choose to write as though no one reads it, and therefore talk about the people who do read it.
I could also write as though I were speaking to my 5 or so faithful readers. Or i could just write for the sake of writing.

My blog has been through a few changes in style and content, but i think for now i think i'll just combine all of the above options.

So i wonder if i seem interesting to the random reader. No, this is not a contrived effort to receive praise. Maybe it's just a rhetorical question.

[apartment 6]

>>you made me realize, not to compromise, the fact that you and i should<< britney spears' "bombastic love"

*yawn* it's so time for bed. talk more later.

I used to think cologne and perfume were overrated, but one of my friends wears cologne that blows me away--i can't think straight if i'm too close to him, and now i'm a believer. I never thought that someone's smell could affect me like that.

[apartment 6]

>>sorry if i sound confused, i don't feel the way you do<< britney's "let me be"

britney
So i bought into all of the hype and bought ms. spears 3rd album "britney". It's not bad. It's catchy.

i don't think people buy pop music solely for the music. Not now anyway. Hmm, i guess i'm stating the obvious, but i think people buy the image. What if Britney was ugly?

It was different back in the day, though. Sting/The Police, The Jackson 5, The Beatles, The Bee Gees, Donna Summer, etc. were all pop music in their heyday, but those people are classics. I don't think Britney will join their ranks. She'll be memorable, nonetheless, but i doubt she'll reach Madonna's status. Her looks have taken her pretty far, but she needs to take some more voice lessons.

[apartment six]

>>

malong girls--look ober der...at the tsinelas
I got up this morning at 7:45am to go to Kuya Rudi's photoshoot in Marin. It was fun times.

It consisted of geese dropping dodging and various failed attempts to make Bern laugh. *shrug* Keep trying i guess? hehe.

I assume Gary's going to post the pics he took on his digital camera, so i'll link that soon enough.

[apartment 6]

the sacrament
Ever since christian mentioned that he's adamantly opposed to marriage, i began thinking about why he felt that way. What's a marriage license anyway? Silly term.

Most ancient societies needed an organized method of perpetuating species and keeping track of property rights, so they created the idea of the contract of marriage. In fact, the notion of love as we know it today was not associated with marriage until medieval times :: Even now, societies such as those in India and Indonesia arrange marriages.

So what does marriage mean in Western society? With a 50% divorce rate, we all know that a piece of paper with a Federal seal does not guarantee longevity in a relationship. Can't people stay in love for 50+ years without having to sign a contract to officiate it?

As mentioned before, marriage used to have utility. The function of handling property rights have been transferred to lawyers, however, and marriage has thus evolved into a symbol of a bond between two people. This bond does not materialize by virtue of a marriage contract. Rather, Love is exchanged --not a sort of romanticized other worldly gift that happens to fall upon two people. Hollywood and pop culture, however, seem to speak of it as though it were indeed of such origins.

Will two people love each other more once they're wearing rings? Love does not blossom because of an officiality. I don't think people should be getting married under the guise that it grants permanency--you'd be fooling yourself. Perhaps, obligation is all that it grants. But who would ever want to feel obligated?

I don't understand the purpose of marriage. What's wrong with staying with someone for a very long time--even until death. If i find the right person, i will love them the same whether or not they're wearing a ring. I don't need a ring to make myself feel better about the stability of a relationship.

[apartment 4]

reblogger!
Jesse pinpointed the problem with reblogger! Thanks so much!

Okay, this is everyone's cue to post their thoughts. :o)

damn it
yanks just won another game in the series. Can the underdog please just win? The Diamondbacks had the game in the bag...

[apartment 6]

>>could you make it on your own? If i could, then I would. I'd go<< the calling's "wherever you will go"

happy halloween...really
The halfway point has finally come. I'd been hoping to make it to this evening since two weeks ago. Stressing, trying to plan how best to study for these two midterms and still have time to do problem sets and other homework. Well, things didn't turn out as the Freshman version of me would have liked. I didn't complete my physics problem set and i probably did less than mediocre on my math midterm, but i was happy to have survived.

After my anthro midterm, it was all happiness today. I went bowling and scored over 100pts.-- bowling has got to be one of the most excellent sports because I totally blow at it, but i have tons of fun while i'm at it. Can't say the same for physics or playing pinball :: the whole process of sucking is unenjoyable.

Conversation times with Alex was most excellent. And nation's was good food.

We talked about the types of people out there who reach a plateau and run with it until they're senior citizens. These are the people who go to their jobs, work banker's hours, vegetate at home and start over the next day. I suppose there are a lot of people like that, but I wonder if sometimes i categorize people this way just to make me feel better about myself. Maybe everybody is moving towards self enrichment, and all of the amazing things in this world aren't really going to waste for lack of appreciation. I'm probably being too big for my britches because "i'll understand when i get older." So does that mean that when i get wiser, i'll understand that it's okay to break your back for a mediocre payoff? I don't want to be old and full of regret because i spent my youth working hard to have a great life as an old lady.

How do people balance? How does one keep an eye on the future and still take advantage of the liberties of youth by having fun, dressing wildly, being shallow, being cerebral, etc.?

i should really try and figure out how to get a reblogger on this thing.