[1269]

>>i never thought i'd die alone; i laughed the loudest, who'd've known?<< blink's "adam's song"

not the jackpot
i bought 2 quick picks at a liquor store off of market in the city. *sigh* i checked the newspaper today and found that, alas, joan has yet to become a big baller, shot caller.
I wonder if the hispanic guy in front of me won--he bought $20 worth of plays. Geez, what could someone do with $140 million dollars anyway? imagine all of the hershey's bars you could buy. damn, speaking of which. I just read an article about slavery in the cocoa bean business on Africa's Ivory Coast. son of a bitch. millions of rich americans and europeans spend 75 cents to a dollar for a quick hit of gluttony while a slave trader pays $33 for a kidnapped Malian whose only compensation for labor is corn paste and a beating. one of the slaves was quoted saying "I don't know what chocolate is."
jackpot.

san francisco
i spend five days working in the city, but last night i went there just for fun. i went to the big sfsc and laura introduced me to this yum yum burrito place called "rubio's."
soo good ;o)

while there laura and i bought lottery tickets and joked about what we'd do with $60 million (that's what taxes do to $140 m). laura said she'd buy me the $80 pants i was eyeing at jcrew. i told her i'd give her a stick of gum...and a smile. hehe.

oh yeah, we played around at the airtight garage at the meeetreon and took a picture at the sony store.
we weren't soo satisfied with our picture but an abercrombie clan of girls were eagerly waiting for us to finish. blech
i wonder if people think they look like the models in catalogues from which they order their already used looking clothing--ahhh, the wonders of marketing. okay, i'm not giving them a chance, maybe they're really wonderful people. but they were being kind of pushy.

after school
i recently drew a ton of inspiration from a website i found at random. phatz.com
it made me believe that i could avoid being in corporate america for the rest of my life and travel the world instead.
i think i could really be happy living day to day, but that is definitely easier to say from a standpoint that doesn't require me to live that way. i've come to the conclusion that there simply is no way to live the ideal life. I remember what it was like not having anything at all to do before i started my internship. I was so bored and i didn't take the initiative to go read books or learn something new. i'm suddenly eager to be a photographer who's travelled the world--ironically enough, the dreams come around now that i've got no time at all to even begin to try to live it.

just as in previous years, i've been reluctant to get into photo because it might put my grades at risk...but here's the fork in the road. Knowing that i can't have everything i want all at the same time, do i have the guts to let my grades drop a little for the sake of that ounce of individuality that the university is trying to rob from me?