Wednesday, May 09, 2001

[istanbul, turkey]

okay really
[apartment six, berkeley]

"i don't want to be your baby girl...i just want to be what's best for me" -from nelly furtado's "baby girl"

burning
i think it's a good indication that i'm beginning to burn out when i'm greatly inclined to go play basketball, eat ice cream, cheerios, and email pictures of my new shoes to my friends rather than study. Yeah, i'd say that observation is pretty accurate.

And so here i am, adding to my various bloggerings.

i once was blind
Jeff, my math tutor dude, is a 50+ year old hippy, who sports tie-dye t-shirts on some days and not so patriotic shirts on the others, has a masters in mechanical engineering. Despite his qualifications, he tutors kids like me in math workshops getting paid sweatshop wages.

He's a news junkie and perhaps knows too much for his own good. I think the ugliness of this self-absorbed community of "i'm too important and too busy for you"
college students is finally beginning to take its toll on him. His dream was to be the catalyst for change and awareness amongst unsuspecting
engineering students (his tutees) so that the younger generation might prevent the terrors of capitalism and corruption (or perhaps they're one and the same...?)
from corroding the rest of the world. Alas, consumerism has already consumed most of his students. Jeff states that most students are too self absorbed to
care about the terrible things happening all over the world as a result of the actions taken by the politicians we voted for.

"i used to think that if i could change even one person's outlook every semester, it would be enough to make a difference. But let's face it, i'd have to be here
for 20,000 years to make anything happen." -jeff

Themes from Fight Club and Culture Jam come rushing back to me. Sadness, anger, confusion and frustration overwhelm me at the thought of jeff's despair.
The american media hides a lot from its readers. Jeff is a loyal surfer of www.commondreams.org, a news website that gathers information from european papers--publications that aren't censored/filtered like our papers are.

It seems impossible to realize a more honest world, but it all begins with awareness. I don't think jeff needs to wait 20,000 years.
www.commondreams.org
I used to wonder why the hell they'd name a news site like that, but i understand now.

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