old habits
In an attempt to bring back my habit of writing about my life every day or every other day, I am writing once again. This time, i'm waiting to leave for the BART station to take my life agent licensing exam in San Francisco.
A year ago i celebrated Winita's birthday by salsa dancing in Berkeley. I had also just made plans to go to Brasil in June.
This year, i've spent the month of April building up courage to move to New York by mid-july. Since February, i'd been trying to determine my next steps. Starbucks from October to December had been a fun way to have a job, but no responsibility. The arrival of the new year brought an irksome but necessary desire for change. I was comfortable at the Buk$. I had benefits and enough money to buy gas and pay for attending my friends' weddings.
A few months ago, it seemed almost impossible to confidently make decisions in my own best interest. I could easily save enough to finance being a bridesmaid or buy a plane ticket to Vegas. Attending my friends' weddings were no-brainers. Yet i could not find the courage to believe that moving away and being a photographer was a no-brainer as well. Was i not the author of my own legend?
There were of course the practical questions that I asked and, i believed, should be answered before i move. How will i pay rent? Who will hire me? Who will be friends with me? Where will i live, Brooklyn or Manhattan or Jersey? Do I need a sugar daddy?
In a sea of uncertainty, I was only sure of one thing. I knew i had to leave home. I'd been able to do laundry in my parent's garage every month of my life since the Smurfs were still on the air.
As for those questions above, I haven't yet found a job, nor have i found a place, although newyork.craigslist.org assures me there are still places to live. Manhattan has not yet reached full capacity, thank god. After struggling for a few months with trying to find a practical plan to get to New York, i decided to let the Cosmic take care of the apartment on 5th Ave.
I was hoping this move would happen my way, but my mom said i'd still be in California six months from now asking the same questions. "If you keep finding reasons not to go, then you'll never leave."
I have a free plane ticket, some savings, a camera, and a close friend who'll be moving to New York in September. The other stuff--the apartment, the job, the health benefits--i assume will turn up when i really need them.
"remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." His holiness, the dalai lama
In an attempt to bring back my habit of writing about my life every day or every other day, I am writing once again. This time, i'm waiting to leave for the BART station to take my life agent licensing exam in San Francisco.
A year ago i celebrated Winita's birthday by salsa dancing in Berkeley. I had also just made plans to go to Brasil in June.
This year, i've spent the month of April building up courage to move to New York by mid-july. Since February, i'd been trying to determine my next steps. Starbucks from October to December had been a fun way to have a job, but no responsibility. The arrival of the new year brought an irksome but necessary desire for change. I was comfortable at the Buk$. I had benefits and enough money to buy gas and pay for attending my friends' weddings.
A few months ago, it seemed almost impossible to confidently make decisions in my own best interest. I could easily save enough to finance being a bridesmaid or buy a plane ticket to Vegas. Attending my friends' weddings were no-brainers. Yet i could not find the courage to believe that moving away and being a photographer was a no-brainer as well. Was i not the author of my own legend?
There were of course the practical questions that I asked and, i believed, should be answered before i move. How will i pay rent? Who will hire me? Who will be friends with me? Where will i live, Brooklyn or Manhattan or Jersey? Do I need a sugar daddy?
In a sea of uncertainty, I was only sure of one thing. I knew i had to leave home. I'd been able to do laundry in my parent's garage every month of my life since the Smurfs were still on the air.
As for those questions above, I haven't yet found a job, nor have i found a place, although newyork.craigslist.org assures me there are still places to live. Manhattan has not yet reached full capacity, thank god. After struggling for a few months with trying to find a practical plan to get to New York, i decided to let the Cosmic take care of the apartment on 5th Ave.
I was hoping this move would happen my way, but my mom said i'd still be in California six months from now asking the same questions. "If you keep finding reasons not to go, then you'll never leave."
I have a free plane ticket, some savings, a camera, and a close friend who'll be moving to New York in September. The other stuff--the apartment, the job, the health benefits--i assume will turn up when i really need them.
"remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." His holiness, the dalai lama
posted by joan at
1:51 PM
