[berkeley]

HH
Happy Halloween. I think i bruised my hip at the skatepark. So proud though. Good thing I only had one lecture today. Can't walk too well. Hope it's better tomorrow.

[berkeley]

if it doesn't kill you
Victor took me to a skate park tonight. There were about 20 super good skaters there and I was the only girl. Talk about fear. Had to face it:::this is how you grow stronger. Learning life lessons.
I dropped down into the banks and crossed the park and rode up the opposite bank. I hit the bank pretty hard trying to turn around. But yo, it didn't kill me. I'm so proud of myself for facing my fear and the intimidation presented by the other guys who were carving hard. I got back up and gave it another shot.

[berkeley]

on another note
I've been trying to get some work done so that this weekend I'll have time to go home and see my family. I haven't hung out with them in 8 weeks. I guess it's time to check on them. My grandma made me a big pot of my favorite dessert thinking I was going to be home two weeks ago. I forget how different her world is from mine.

[berkeley]

bite the bullet
I've been going to a number of my friends, telling them all of my concerns about what I'll be doing after graduation. I have a few ideas, but am too conservative to suck it up and take the risks.
It's so easy to listen to my heart, but a completely different challenge to follow it.

The world is brimming with beautiful possibilities. Don't be afraid.

[berkeley]

late night oprah
I was watching Oprah at around 1:00am on Friday night. The show was showcasing child prodigies. The first genius was a 13-year-old who was in his senior year of college at a small private university in Virginia. What I found most honorable was his work in Kenya (he helped to have a treaty signed between warring tribes, is working to build the first library in Kenya, and was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize).

I'm experiencing a beginning of life crisis, and seeing that boy, Gregory Smith, inspired me. He has taken it upon himself to utilize his talent for bringing peace to the world (he's a bit of an idealist...at 13, how can you help it). But we need idealists.

I spent the wee hours of Saturday morning reading blog entries from last year wanting to see what developments and improvements I've made and what I have left to improve. I think i've made a fair amount of progress, and yet I still feel like there's so much to do.

Work in progress indeed.

[berkeley]

picture of the day
by Helen Levitt, New York, 1940

[berkeley]

awakening
It begins.

"Everyone, when they are young, knows what their destiny is. At that point in their lives, everything is clear and everything is possible. They are not afraid to dream, and to yearn for everything they would like to see happen to them in their lives. But, as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince them that it will be impossible for them to realize their destiny...people are capable, at any time in their lives, of doing what they dream of."--The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho

[vlsb]

hmph
The Resident of the United States signed the Iraq war resolution. Can someone please remind me why people don't vote? Less than 30% of the population put that silly little man in office.

Please register to vote, only 4 days left. Democrats need a majority in the House and Senate.

In addition
Can you imagine what could happen if Bush were reelected? It's not like he hasn't made us look like big enough fools already.

Alright, I'm stepping down from my soap box. thank you.

[berkeley]

for my 21st birthday
Exactly 1 month and 10 hours from right now, I'll be turning 21. In an ideal world, my birthday present would be a winning lottery ticket and this would be my first purchase.

Too bad motorcycles are dangerous. *sigh*

[valley life sciences building, berkeley]

>>Domo arigato, mr. roboto<< (don't know the name of the artist)

full day
Went to the Missing Link Bicycle Shop to buy a much needed rear fender. Can you believe it set me back $15? I looked online, nothing cheaper once S&H is added.

Talked to my contact at Accenture to determine her opinion about listing my Manager and Team Lead as references. By the way, I got word that Accenture won't be extending an offer to me. I could go into it, but again, I don't want to be "the negative friend".

God works in mysterious ways. Now, I have no guilt about pursuing something outside of the corporate arena. Maybe it'll make an artist out of me. imagine that.

After said conversation, went grocery shopping at Safeway. Two 1.5 lb bag of roasted, unsalted peanuts for $5. Also bought raisins.

to j from j
My photo teacher from last semester is a role model to me. He's managed to have a comfortable, beautifully decorated apartment just off of Telegraph and seems to be doing fine without having followed the well worn desk job path too much (I think he did some adobe photoshop work for a while).

I emailed him wanting to get coffee so I could hear his story. His name is Justin.

[berkeley]

>>"You're beautiful, that's for sure"<< Nelly Furtado's "I'm like a bird"

mondo gelato
And the weekly tradition continues. Rafaello + Ferrero Rocher flavors for me. I couldn't figure out what I wanted until the last second. Always happens that way for me. Funny how Gary picked his flavors on the fly. Is that just how boys are?

I got to see Beverly's new digital camera and Nico's new digital camera. New toys are the best. Speaking of new toys, I still need to get a fender thing for my back tire so that when rainy season starts, the water won't splash up and wet my back. I also need more clothes. Time to stop by Goodwill. Sometimes they have pretty cool stuff. Or maybe I need to stop being cheap. *eh* Or maybe I should go shopping with Bev and Bern. Those two always seem to be great at finding deals.

vroom
Motorcycles are dangerous, but I kind of want one. Victor took me on a motorcycle ride two times in the past month or so. It's pretty darn fun. Very calming. But motorcycles are dangerous. Naah. I'll just look at Ducati's online. Besides, liking motorcycles doesn't quite help with the femininity factor.

consume
I was thinking about the things i'd like to buy in the future. A road bike. Plane tickets. I wonder sometimes if the things I want to own are beginning to own me. If I were to buy a road bike in the next month, would I see it as more than an accessory to what defines me? I would hope not.

Spring semester taught me to be very detached from material possessions. Things have changed a little. I'm beginning to want things. Is that wrong? My knee jerk reaction would be that there's nothing wrong with wanting things, but then reading Siddhartha claims otherwise:

"The world had caught him; pleasure, covetousness, idleness, and finally also that vice that he had always despised and scorned as the most foolish -- acquisitiveness. Property, possessions and riches had also finally trapped him...they had become a chain and a burden."

So now I have to think about what really drives me. Not a Ducati. Not a Bianchi.

I was happiest when I could wake up in the morning and think of a place to ride my bike, or a new exhibit at the museum, or a picture I wanted to take, or a friend I wanted to see and go and make it happen. This semester is definitely bogging me down. Despite all the madness that I can't control, I still feel responsible for my happiness. And that's when I think of Victor's words "Lift yourself up by your thoughts."

[berkeley]

>>love me now or i'll go crazy...whooaa sweet thing<< mary j. blige's "Sweet Thing"

well now
Inspiration seems to elude me this semester and leaves stress and frustration in its midst. But that's okay. That's what makes life great, right? The challenges.

Trying to make things happen.